Tarrlok (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bloodisthicker) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
trustfell2017-11-04 06:30 pm
bloodisthicker) wrote in trustfell2017-11-04 06:30 pm
how am i going to be an optimist about this?
[Almost as soon as the trial lets out, Tarrlok kind of... tears off to the kitchen, because he's mildly concerned that he's going to experience an adrenaline crash before he even starts cooking, and so he begins! He starts on some tea, marinating some beef for kebabs... but he feels like he's forgetting something...
...
OH SHIT. HE FORGOT TO PUT NOTES OUT OKAY FUCK HANG ON LET HIM REHASH SOMETHING HE THOUGHT WAS FUNNY AND SHOVE IT UNDER PEOPLE'S DOORS BEFORE ANYTHING BURNS]
FOOD IN EAT PLACE
[okay whew he makes it back to the kitchen. And so does Yuri at some point, actually! So... Tarrlok will be getting kebabs ready for everyone, since he was hungry for them, Yuri confirmed, and Cabanela said he'd have whatever he'd have. Speaking of, Cabanela shows up to make some chicken soup! And Yuri makes curry, teriyaki chicken, and steamed vegetables. So there's a little something for everyone. The food that gets put out isn't super fancy, but it's nice, and there's tea just like Elda wanted.
So have at, then!]
...
OH SHIT. HE FORGOT TO PUT NOTES OUT OKAY FUCK HANG ON LET HIM REHASH SOMETHING HE THOUGHT WAS FUNNY AND SHOVE IT UNDER PEOPLE'S DOORS BEFORE ANYTHING BURNS]
FOOD IN EAT PLACE
[okay whew he makes it back to the kitchen. And so does Yuri at some point, actually! So... Tarrlok will be getting kebabs ready for everyone, since he was hungry for them, Yuri confirmed, and Cabanela said he'd have whatever he'd have. Speaking of, Cabanela shows up to make some chicken soup! And Yuri makes curry, teriyaki chicken, and steamed vegetables. So there's a little something for everyone. The food that gets put out isn't super fancy, but it's nice, and there's tea just like Elda wanted.
So have at, then!]
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I should have been there. Been faster.
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Why weren't you?
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[ And she's going to stand now. She can't be in this infirmary any more. ]
1/2
And then Elda rises. Is that the end of the conversation, then? Rin watches while saying nothing, and supposes it is.]
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So.
SHRUGS. ]
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... Then she's going to be slowly, tiredly, heading back to her room. She's getting something out of there after having played piano for some time to decompress further, and...
By now she's reading Sayaka's note. ]
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"I've always really admired you, Tohsaka-san; you really do have a way with people that even I don't, and I don't think I ever really got to say that I appreciated that about you."
Reading those words privately, Rin bites her lip and folds the letter away, intending to take it back downstairs. It's so strange Sayaka would say that about her, when those are the very words she could have said to the older girl herself.]
Honestly, I envy your ability to touch people's hearts...
[Yes. She'd say it just like that if she could. Will someday, maybe. Wiping her eyes, Rin doesn't let herself cry as she exits the stairwell. The kitchen is closed by now, so she has to take the long way around walking back to the dorms, instead of cutting straight across.]
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... It's terrible, it's stabbing her over and over again with every step. It's in no way preparing her for what she needs to do next, in order to really close the book on everything that has happened today and everything that she promised today.
She didn't slap Kyrie. Sorry. Sorry SORRY...
" For the first time in years, I felt alive. And I'm thankful--so, so thankful--that you gave me that chance. Thank you so much, for allowing me to live, and encouraging me to live to my fullest. I think I was finally beginning to understand you, clearly. "
... yes, begun. She's only just begun. She's --
dead.
She's dead. ]
You stupid... stupid girl.
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With the blanket bundled in her arms, then, she makes her way back through the dorms.]
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... Oh.
There's Rin. ]
Hah, of course you'd still be out.
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Yeah. I'll be making it a habit from here on out.
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[ she wishes she had seen Kyrie. that whole trap was...
She grips the notes a little tighter, crumpling the corners. And she sighs as she makes to try to let go of her sorrow, anger, ... anything?
she doesn't know what to do with her face. But she's going to intend to walk past Rin. ]
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What's that supposed to mean?
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[ Inhale, exhale. Don't... cry. Don't rage. Don't...
She doesn't even know what she's doing other than walking to the incinerator, still rereading this stupid note. ]
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[That paper looks familiar... Oh. It's Sayaka's letter to Elda, of course. Realizing that takes a lot of the edge off Rin's words.]
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[ It won't be a day, this time. Maybe she'll be sustainable tomorrow, but... She's crumbling up this note, isn't she?
She's going to rip it like this.
She needs to put this away, but she doesn't want to - if she does, she'll make the envelope she has more visible. ]
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["I do not ask for forgiveness, but I instead endeavor to do what I can to prove it to you."]
Those words meant something, right?
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... ]
I'm burning the last of that right now, Rin. You can come be a witness if you want.
[ Her last little regret. As for grieving, then... she has no idea when that'll end. ]
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The last of...? [Her regrets? Rin looks at the paper clutched in Elda's hand, brows furrowing. Well, she won't stop her even if she disproves.] Isn't that Sayaka's letter?
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[ She squeezes it again, and then sighs. She makes to fold it, so better to put it away somewhere, even if she has nowhere to put it now. But the fact of the matter is that it's... It's not a comfort.
Don't despair? ]
... That girl had no idea what to write.
[ She in the end offers the thing to Rin, if she wants to look at it. But if she does or doesn't, it does make it more clear that the envelope in her hands is unrelated to the note... or no, perhaps it is. Because now it's clear under Sayaka's note was another letter, and this one is addressed to Sayaka, and in Elda's penmanship. ]
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...she does peek into the top of the letter, but she probably won't read the entire thing. Mainly, she's confirming there really is something written there.]
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If you're reading this, you've killed me. It's not fitting for me to ask forgiveness, but you've either given it or not given it before I've gone down into the pit. This letter doesn't say anything I won't have already said. But if in the heat of the moment I ever made it sound like I chose to belittle you and my love for you then please disregard that as best you can."
Rin doesn't read further than that, letting the letter flap closed again. For a maybe that didn't come to pass, it feels too precious and private, riddled with love and tightly grasped resolve.
She can't fault Elda for thoughts she had herself.]
You should probably tear it up first. [She says this as she hands the envelope back.] Just in case the incinerator is a fiery portal to the other side.
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